Umm I'm too high to move.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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