You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
