I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
