It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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