"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
