ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize