The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
PANTIES FOUND
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