so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize