I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i will never coherently bang her
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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