After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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