So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize