Your tits are I can't wait for
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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