um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Your penis caused this!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
