I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
this hospital has no fireball
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
