Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
