Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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