Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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