im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
