I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
