He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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