You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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