Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
