It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
