she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
