i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
