We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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