If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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