Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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