awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
