i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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