I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
