I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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