if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Will exercising make me less horny?
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