Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
