im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
