so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
