i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
