Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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