Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Still dying that you shit outside
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
