Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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