I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My ass is underappreciated
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
