I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
