I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
