69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
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Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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