almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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