i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
