it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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