Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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