i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize