Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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