I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
