This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
