Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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