It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
