I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
