its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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