yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize