You can't motorboat a personality
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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