Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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